Never Retire: We Didn’t Change Much—That’s Why Our Move Is Working
It's not about escaping life in the U.S.—it’s about building a better one somewhere else, one day at a time.
This is my perspective on moving abroad. Mine alone based on my life experience and how that history led my wife and I to leave the United States for Spain in January.
In only six months, Valencia feels like home. I can see us living here forever.
In my last Never Retire newsletter story, we got super practical, talking about the currency exchange rate, particularly the impact of the weak dollar. If you’re planning a move or have already moved, it’s a no panic, no sensationalization look at what it’s like from one financial perspective. I’m not trying to create and exaggerate a problem so I can solve it for you.
I am offering perspective.
Today, an equally as concrete look at how it feels to feel at home.
If you’re moving abroad to change your life, there’s a better than zero chance it’s not going to work out. You see the progression of events play out too often. People arrive in a place—like Spain—thinking it’s the solution to all of their problems. Then, life in paradise turns out to be little more than the seemingly mundane trappings of day-to-day living.
The other day, a Never Retire newsletter subscriber
, who is moving to Spain soon (!!) from Brooklyn, said something—in a comment—that resonated:I will be leaving a walkable neighborhood for another one in Spain. But I know it's the right choice for me.
Now, this is just me riffing because I don’t know enough about Kathi’s intent or situation but it seems to me that—
She will live pretty much the same life in Spain that she lives in Brooklyn, probably at a higher quality with some relatively minor variations.
To me, that is super key.
Unless there’s some major part of your life that you know defines you, moving without already having a solid sense of your day-to-day—and why you love it—can make it harder to pull off the move. If you don’t know what you’re trying to enhance, you might just end up disoriented.
People often ask how life is different in Spain. The honest answer? It’s not radically different if you look at what my wife and I actually do each day. It’s better, yes—but not wildly different. The core of our life is the same. The difference is in the quality, not the structure.
How Life in Spain Looks the Same—But Feels Completely Different
Most mornings, I make the rounds—market, supermarket, bakery, cafe, etc. Sometimes my wife comes. Sometimes she doesn’t. When she doesn’t, she’s going to work on her stuff in the ceramics studio (in LA, it was her hair salon).
Then, I work.
Then, I take a bike ride or walk (in LA, it was definitely a walk because cycling sucks there).
Then, I work.
Then, I study Spanish.
Some days we go to the beach (in LA, we drove an hour to and from in awful traffic and paid $15.00 to park. In Valencia, we ride our bikes and pay nothing to park. Plus, we can go in the water because it’s warm and not disgustingly dirty.
Somedays we go to lunch, except we pay €15 to €40 for two us instead of $40 to $80).
We do hot yoga or pilates, 4-5 times a week (except the room is always at least 40 degrees Celsius with at least 45-50% humidity, unlike LA where they worried too much about making us uncomfortable, which is sort of the point of hot yoga).
We watch TV, but less because…
We go out a lot more at night. In neighborhoods where there are people… all types of people doing all types of things. We walk. We people watch. We linger. We drink and eat for anywhere between €6 and (rarely, but sometimes) €60 to €100 instead of—minimum $15 to $250. Sometimes, we socialize.
We cook at home… a lot. But we spend less on far better ingredients because the EU’s farm to table system isn’t just a bull shit marketing slogan. It’s life.
These days, my diet is about 70% fruit, vegetables, and bread—30% good meat, olives, and olive oil. The kind of stuff that’s near impossible to get (or afford) in the U.S. The country has commoditized and turned eating well into an aspirational lifestyle product meant to drive maximum profit by playing on people’s fears and insecurities about being healthy.
Anyhow—that’s the days in our life in Spain. Not different, but exponentially better than half-assing the same in America.
Final quick-hit thoughts
I’m not Spanish and I’m not fluent, but I’m no longer a tourist.
I don’t observe life in Spain—I participate in it. I ride, I shop, I (try to) have conversations with others.
When I go to the chicken stand at the market and don’t get hamburguesas de pollo the lady knows I want una pechuga de pollo grande.
When I step outside, sometimes I duck into the store next door to talk to the owner. Because—with this heat—I don’t get to chat with him on the street as much.
Belonging is not about perfect Spanish.
It’s not about being accepted by everyone.
It’s about feeling connected, useful, and emotionally invested in where you are.
I still work. Every day. But it feels like part of the flow, not as much of a hustle (though I still hustle).
I time work around the life, not the other way around.
Six months in, I know—
You don’t have to be from here to be here fully.
Integration doesn’t require mastery. It requires presence.
Six months in, Valencia feels like home.
If you’ve been enjoying these stories from Spain—and want to support this project in euros—you can do that below or at this Stripe link for current paid subscribers. Every euro helps me keep building in the place I now call home.
Or grab 25% off your first year of Never Retire—USD and EUR options available.
Check out and subscribe to my YouTube channel—Friki de Bici—where I ride around Valencia and continue building this new project.
Hello and thanks for that little shout out. If you're in this process you're aware of other sources of information. Frank's blog "Mapping Spain" is somone we read (he's living in Granada where we hope to settle) and his post today is on the cranky side. The opposite of the tone of this post. My take away from reading both is, that it's not Spain, it's you. You are a major part of this equation and your personality colors everything. I'm leaving behind a neighborhood where I am part of the community. I will miss these connections but I also look forward to building new ones. I know that my curiosity and general happy nature will show. Do I have some romantic ideas about moving to Spain? Of course! But I look at it as an another adventure in the book of my life and we'll have a good ride no matter what.