I Thought Spain Was Easy. I Was Wrong

The longer I live abroad, the less I think the country deserves all the credit.

You visit a place. You choose to do what needs to be done so you can live there. And you heap praise on it before you even arrive because it represents the life you want.

It’s next to impossible to avoid this framing as you prepare to move abroad.

Spain—and our Valencia neighborhood in particular—presents with everything we want in a place to live. All the urban infrastructure and amenities, easily connected to loads of other cities with the same or similar.

So the narrative naturally becomes: Spain is going to crush in areas where the United States falls pathetically short.

Day-to-day life will be easier. Quality of life will be materially better—superior really.

In many ways, this is true. However, it’s only where the story begins. Ultimately, this line of thinking belongs in the dustbin because it’s a surface scratch you can use as a crutch when you find yourself up against the real struggles of building a life abroad.

The crutch of blaming every feeling you have, obstacle you face, or thing that goes wrong on the honeymoon period being over. It’s as if Spain—suddenly—stopped being easier and better when you struggle to deal with life.

World revolve around you much?

So—basic.

Despite all the relocation porn, life is still life.

A strong day-to-day can only exist within a broader psychological framework influenced, but not dictated by place. In other words, the place can only do its job after you do yours.

So, the basic narrative of I’m going to move to Spain and because Spain has X, Y, and Z, life will instantly and always be better than it was in the United States—or wherever—is where quite a few people lose their way and react without aim, leading to a terrible experience abroad, a move back home, or both.

Spain has been—for all intents and purposes—easy for me, but the more I think about it, it’s less because of Spain and more because I’ve done the work. I have adapted in many ways. I’m learning the language, speaking as freely as I can in each moment, and getting better every day. I’ve not only accepted the never-ending feeling of being a little uncomfortable or out of place, but embraced it as a concrete sign of personal growth. I compare Spain less to where I came from.

I wholly and completely consider Spain home. It’s where my wife and I do life.

But there’s one important element I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.