Why I Could Never Live in the United States Again
What becomes obvious once you’ve lived inside a different urban system
At the end of today’s installment, I’ve included a YouTube video from a guy I’ve been watching a lot lately—Joe Baur.
I love seeing people without—as far as I know—urban planning backgrounds make points that come straight out of urban planning.
You often see this happen when an American spends a considerable amount of time living in Europe.
When you study planning, you have a lot of this context—even if it’s not lived context—already.
So, when you finally make it to Europe and spend some time, living there doesn’t feel like an adventure.
It just feels like it makes sense.
In his video, Baur discusses how living in Europe has ruined the United States for him.
He can’t go back.
After nearly 16 months in Europe—including this month in Paris—I concur.
If for some reason—and I hate even speaking these words—I could no longer live in Spain, I would not go back to the United States.
There’s just no way I can imagine living there again.
I didn’t come to Europe looking for a different political system or lifestyle experiment.
I came because I knew everyday life would work differently here. That the daily routines I love—that we all rely on so much—would require less effort. I wouldn’t have to hack, then still fall short of the type of city life I’ve always wanted.
In the US, you live how you live because you have no other choice. If you don’t subscribe to the prevailing car culture and everything it entails, you’re rendered a second-class citizen in most parts of the country.
None of the shortcomings of America—in isolation or relative to Europe—are a reflection on most Americans. You’re simply a product of the system you live inside. While you can hack the system to your preferences, you ultimately have no choice but to accept it. That is—if you opt for as content and optimistic a life as you can have.
If you hit the point where the upside of leaving outweighs any benefits of staying, maybe you explore a move. With your head on straight, this can work for a lot of people.
Quite a few people arrive in Europe and realize they’re more American than they thought. And that’s okay.
But—for many—once you experience a city where:
you walk most places
kids move independently
public space feels normal
streets move slowly
daily life is outside
It’s hard to return to a system where:
every trip requires a car
public space feels hostile
everything is spread out
Not because you hate the United States.
But because the contrast becomes impossible to ignore.
And—I’m telling you—having an urban planning background or a history of living in and putting up with American cities helps.
You arrive with the context most Americans lack.
You don’t leave the United States because you suddenly dislike the country. Any discontent has likely festered for decades.
It definitely did for me.
Spain didn’t give me my urban planning perspective or anti-war, anti-right wing penchant. I’ve had those things since arriving in San Francisco in 1999.
You leave because once you experience cities that work differently, the friction of the old system becomes impossible to ignore. And the irony dawns on you—the US organizes everything with the stated goal of removing friction. Then, even as it fails to achieve that goal, it runs around beating its chest as if it has experienced unprecedented success.
That’s nothing but bullshit.
So in many ways, Europe is better. Not perfect. But—from what I’ve seen and experienced, particularly in Valencia—it’s a better place to live.
The basic mechanics of daily life—how people move, meet, and exist in public space—simply make more sense.
And once that becomes obvious, it’s very hard to imagine going back.
I’ve been publishing this newsletter consistently for a long time. Writing it takes real time and energy, and like most independent work, it only survives if readers support it.
If this series helped you see where you live a little more clearly—how it works, why it feels the way it does, and whether it’s actually working for you—consider becoming a paid subscriber.
For a limited time, I’m offering 75% off paid subscriptions at the button below.
If you already pay to subscribe, you can add additional support—via Stripe’s secure platform—at the button below.
Joe Baur captures all of this perfectly in the video below.
He talks about how Europe ‘ruined’ America for him. But as you’ll see, it wasn’t a loss of affection for his home; it was a gain in perspective. Once you experience life in a city that respects people, you can’t unsee the leaks in the one that doesn’t.
For me, the US was the standard by which the rest of the world was judged, everything from its form of government, to its economy, its scientific advances, its cutting edge culture, etc. After living in Europe for two and half years, it has become clear to us that America now stands out as an anomaly, as an example of how not to do things (at least as of late). The new standards are being set by the EU, Canada, Australia, Japan, New Zealand, and South Korea. The US is falling behind and like a frog in boiling water, the country fails to realize what's happening. Perhaps it's not too late but I doubt I'll see significant improvements in my lifetime. Let's hope the next generation will rise to the challenge.