Recasting How We Think About Getting Old
Please tell me I'm not the only Gen Xer (or thereabouts) who obsesses over this stuff
As we discussed in the newsletter in April, middle age can be a weird emotional time:
Am I alone?
Am I crazy?
Do I think too much?
Or is it really a psychological conundrum to simultaneously—
Anticipate your parents passing away
Watch your children navigate life as adults
Reflect on how your parents brought you up and the impact that has had on your adult life
Consider how your parenting did or did not impact your kids and what role you play as a parent in their adult lives
Attempt to assimilate and learn from all of the above as to attain the best possible quality of life you can—for yourself—now and going forward amid the backdrop of knowing you’re not 20, 30 or even 40 anymore. So, you gotta go for it more than you’ve ever gone for it before. Time becomes even more precious meaning there’s much less of it reserved for inaction.
Looking back, I guess I attempted to make sense of these thoughts (in May 2023, before I was really having them in any meaningful or otherwise intense way) with the idea of relative old age:
Here’s what I mean by it.
I don’t think of myself as old. That said, I am approaching 50.
I often feel like a child in a near 50-year old’s body. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and, say, holy shit, I can’t believe I’m almost 50. Add to that the fact that I have a daughter who will turn 20 this year and it all almost feels surreal.
While I don’t consider myself old, relatively speaking I am.
Relative to my daughter. Relative to how old I was at age 30, 40 and even 45. Relative to lots of things.
I make this distinction because, on one hand, age is but a number and I don’t consider myself old. This is key to staying excited and engaged and ensuring act two of your life is full of new experiences, big plans and fun adventures.
The more I think about relative old age, the less I like it as a way to guide the transition from middle age into the second act of life.
Now—maybe because the move to Spain is officially official—I look at age (and getting older) differently. Almost in reverse.