How It Works: What Moving to Spain Really Changes in You—And What It Absolutely Doesn’t
The emotional rewiring no one talks about when they romanticize moving abroad.
Most people think moving abroad changes your life because the streets look different, the food is better, or the pace is slower. To me, all of that is lifestyle enhancement—not a real life change.
Had I come from a wholly car dependent American suburb—not a city dominated by car culture—maybe the difference in my daily life would’ve been life-changing. But I didn’t—I came from urban environments where I always had to half-ass the type of city living I long craved.
The real shift—the one that determines whether you thrive abroad or fall apart— happens inside of yourself. Somewhat connected to, but ultimately independent of your day-to-day routines.
If you move abroad and don’t like your day-to-day, you misjudged. You probably never should’ve moved in the first place. In this situation, you didn’t get to the part where moving abroad impacts the core of your nervous system—your emotional compass.
A functional physical, cultural, and social environment forces a kind of psychological rewiring you can’t predict from a two-week vacation or a TikTok reel. One you can’t experience when you land and quickly decide some concrete element of the setting wasn’t for you. Or that you’re homesick. Or that the math didn’t work, you don’t know the language well enough, or the locals aren’t nice enough to you.
Again—these are all misfires that indicate you had no idea what you were getting into. They have next to nothing to do with what you go through mentally, with what happens to your ego and sense of self after moving abroad.
If you’re thinking about moving abroad—or if you’re simply curious what actually happens to a person when they relocate their life to a place built around people instead of cars, hostility, and fear—here’s the real, non-romanticized version.